How can I tell my daughter about her horses death

Like all of the other respondents, I too am very saddened by ur loss. This is the toughest question most horse people ever face- & it does not get any easier, no matter how often one goes through it. I agree with the opinion that ur little girl should be told the truth in a way that she can understand, no matter how painful it is for her ( & you) to hear & say it. This will help prevent her from imagining things r different- which in the long run will do more harm. Expect some tears, & possibly some anxiety about having u & her father away from her. Kids frequently react to the stress of grief by having physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, not wanting to eat, vomiting if they do eat, & so forth. If ur daughter is in school, make sure her teacher knows that there has been a tragedy in ur family ( yes, losing a horse the way u lost Andie is a tragedy, & do not let anyone tell u otherwise) & that it is okay if ur daughter does not feel like participating in her regular activities for a while. She needs time to grieve & heal, just as u do. Finally, I would tell ur daughter that it is okay to cry, get angry ( anger is part of grief) & also that it is okay to talk about what happened. Do not be afraid to let her see YOUR tears & pain- that will have the effect of bringing u closer, because it will let ur daughter know that u r human too. Good luck to you, & I am very sorry for ur loss.

She of course, does not need to know the tragic details. But, at 5, she is of the age when children r beginning to have a concept of death. These links may be helpful:
http://newhorizonchildcare.com/Home/Resources/0804%20cope%20w%20death.pdf
http://dying.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=dying&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fjourneyofhearts.org%2Fjofh%2Fgrief%2Fkids_death
http://family.samhsa.gov/talk/death.aspx
http://cvm.uiuc.edu/petcolumns/showarticle.cfm?id=437
It may or may not help to take a clipping of hair from the mane or tail to help with the loss (you know ur daughter best)

I am very sorry to hear of ur loss. Take care.

It largely depends on ur belief system. Whatever u decide, be honest, straight forward & do not lie. Children know when adults r trying to ''soften'' things for them & it really does not help build their confidence in us. Sorry. I know it is not fun, but it is life & it is way more important that she knows she can always come to u for the straight .

If it were me: I would sit her down, or find a time when we can talk without interruption. (Do not make it too heavy, she will react they way she thinks u expect her to react, so try to let her feel her own feelings. ) I might say something like, ''Sweetie, I have some sad news about Andie. He died because he got hurt & it was the kind of thing that was not going to get better.'' Then, wait to see how she takes it. Stay calm, soothe her if she cries & do not judge her reactions. Answer any questions she has as honestly as u can. (They may not come until days later, but they will come.) She will explore the concept of death & passing & she will look to u to explain ur family is beliefs about death. It is a fact of life that is better taught gently at this point than abruptly without planning later. You're a thoughtful & dedicated parent for considering this so carefully.

Best wishes to u & ur daughter. I am sorry for ur loss.

I am so sorry for ur loss. I know how u feel. You have to tell ur baby girl about her horse, & u know it is going to hurt her to her very core. I know u dread it. We all hate to lose what we love. The best advice is this: Do not talk down to her. A lot of how she handles loss will depend upon how u handle it & how u deliver it. She is 5, so she is going to cry.and that is a healthy response. Sit her down, just the two of you, & tell her that u have some bad news, & that she is a big girl & that u know she can handle it. Tell her that her horse got sick & it was in pain. In order to end it is suffering, it had to be put down. Then tell her that u made a choice for her. Tell her that u knew she'd rather have her horse in heaven, & without pain than to have it here, with her, but hurting. Explain that death is just another part of life. I will bet you've done a great job raising her, & if that is true, she will be fine. Just do not let her transfer her pain into worrying about u & ur spouse, & whether or not u will die. Assure her, if she exhibits this type of response, that u & her father/mother will always be there for her. Good Luck, & may God bless & keep u all..especially ur greatest ''gift''; ur daughter.

Same way I told my five year old his mother had passed away. I told him the truth. You do not have to be brutal, but sit her down & tell her Andie had an accident & something happened to him & he has died. I know u loved Andie & I know u will miss him, & we will all miss him, but now I want u to understand this & be brave, because he would want u to be brave & remember him & that he loved u very much. Remember, too, if u want to talk about Andie & how u feel go right ahead any time & it will be okay to cry, dear. We want to cry too, because Andie was a special horse & we will all miss him & be sad because he is gone. So, if u have any questions do not be afraid to ask, okay? And make sure u r available to talk to her about the horse & express her feelings. Explain what u did & why. Tell her how much Andie was suffering & in pain & u could not do anything for him & this was the only way u could do anything for him.Use this as a way of teaching ur daughter about life & death & the value of life & the way u deal with death.

That is incredibly sad; I am sorry for ur loss. I think that any way u do this it will hurt, especially becuase he/she is so young. But a good way to segue into it might be explaining death to him/her, & have him/her understand that. It is essential that the fact of death be understood, before u can get into specifics. Maybe talk about how there is a ''Horse Heaven'' or something & he will be happy there, & think of him/her. But u should expect him/her to cry, hell, I would cry myself & I am 53. Losing a horse is a terrible thing to go through, but u should tell him/her as soon as possible, u owe her that much. I wish u good luck.

Wow I am so sorry for ur loss. I had a same situation a couple years ago when I had to have my horse put down after struggling in a fence & that was a horse I had owned from birth.

There is no easy way to tell her, but she should know the truth from the beginning, without the details she does not need to know at such a young age. Tell her her horse is in a better place with lots of green fields & huge herds to run with. Try to make the best out of the worst situation. When I lose an animal getting another one has always been the easiest way for me to recover. This is not to replace the horse that was lost, but a way to fill the huge void in the heart & give her something to help her recovery from the loss.

I wish u the best of luck & I hope she will take it as best as she can.